Freedom

I have been worried for long.

I worried about 

how you never loved me enough

Is it right to enjoy eating animals

Or how the cake is never baked to perfection

Or how easily you could move on and marry another

Or the car has a punctured tyre

Or how the increment is never up to the mark

And how I cheated upon you

And my wooden trunk with that rusted lock where I stored my half baked dreams

And that imaginary home of longing

Is it right, is it wrong

All those worries ...

And then it rained yesterday

And I wore my old body dipped in a new color of kindness and gratitude 

And I danced in the rain

And I danced in the rain

Like a child

Free

And

Liberated

And I sang too!

#coffeecupandpoetry series

Desire

 A tad salty, a pinch tangy

a whole lot of sugary

alluring layers waiting to melt in my mouth

the tender softness of white skin at the tip of my finger

taste buds tingling desperately to savour 

a death by delight.

As I bent down to see the triangular shape

that cheesecake on my plate

is way more desirous than that First Apple!

I, the resplendent Eve, 

do not need the serpent’s temptation

as those intense cheesy layers 

with the dash of that caramel adventure

and my eager tongue

O purest joy, and

my craving for oneness!

Sitting across, I couldn’t tell you that 

I wanted it all

despite calorie count and repeated

"no, it’s yours, you, please have it all ... oh no, I don't want it" -

and you smile and believe me, and candidly pop in a chunk. 

I watched you toss it in your mouth, eyes closed in satisfaction

oblivious about the flash of hatred chilling down my spine!

How easy it is to pretend and hide that roughest, insane desire!

That Old Love Story

 

Today again I woke up with you in my head

My brain humming with your drumming laughter

I hear a cracking sound as you open the door and come in

My veins are filled with your warmth

The silence within me is vibrating with your seeking

The fireflies between my fingers glowing warm, again …

 

And I knew, given a chance

I will love you all over again

And, I will betray you the same too…

 

#coffeecupandpoetry series

Eerie poem

 A drumbeat goes on in the head

and a nagging slow wailing of mourners

humming in my blood vessels 

there's a burial  in my head

I see the sound of silence as your face moves

swinging in the motion of the coffin carried by men

your feet, pale and dark, outside that white shroud, familiar!

as I sit beside the fireplace, sipping wine

I don't see you standing behind the curtain

watching over me

you were not there yesterday

even today you are not there

and I wish you would go away

that crawling shadow 

and a sudden chill in the room

you were not there yesterday

Again today you are not there

and I wish you would go away

a strange silhouette taking shape, like yours

a sudden stench of death in the room

and I struggle to peep into your eyes in the darkness,

to check

whether they hold the same shock

like that day

when I lightly pushed you to death from the terrace floor.

Coffee Cup and Poetry series

 1. 

Sadness is both of you sitting at the farthest corners, engrossed watching a love story

Sadness is closing your eyes, counting till 10, hoping for the phone call at the end of the count 

Sadness is the stubborn square mark on the wall even after the photo frame is removed

Sadness is you build a night, warm ember flecks seething, but instead end up piling words flung carelessly at each other

Sadness is when a poem is entangled in the chest like a butterfly yet when you pen it down there's this same dampness between its alleys

No not sadness, a quietness has taken over

A quietness waiting for another beginning

Let it be!

***

2. 

Between my shadow and the soul

I had thrown a few seeds 

and now it has grown into a tree!

Its roots crawling into me

like a stubborn childhood

branches taking shapes

wrapping around gingerly like a lover's arm,

and a nagging cricket hum, 

as real as the darkness of a rice-pot in a poor man's hut!

And I continue to pretend to be free.

***

3

With age, it's getting easier to delete.

I have deleted nostalgia, the embarrassment of memory.

I've deleted those lakes, trees, and the aroma of tea.

Receipt of the funeral ticket, condolence messages are deleted too.

Also, to delete the warmth, those breakfasts and the rides together, with age it's getting easier!

Only thing is, it would have been easier still, if the Sun isn't deleted too!

In pursuit!

 Even when the body, intertwined with another

lay in the sweat of pleasure

hands clasping each other 

lips lost in ecstasy

even when the skin communicated what they call love,

even then

the moody mind was roaming around

within the silence of the mountains

soaring along with the rainy breeze

moving around the moonless nights

seeking

hiding another hunger

more fierce than the forest-fire

searching for something

purer

more sublime!

Witchcraft ...

Those who have left

walking along the shadowy path

merging with the dream-like fog

Those who did not look back

and crossed miles

fading into the crowd in another world

Those who walked the milky way and 

befriended the stars

Do they know that

In reality, they could never go away!

 

In every half-baked smile

In those sudden awakening from sleep

Along those foot-paths and by-lanes

In a quick brushing-away of a teardrop

Within the aroma of the coffee cup

They all stayed, trapped permanently!

 

It is not easy to go-away

It is not possible to fade in the hazy future

You are caught into the web of

Memories.

You are buried into the chest that heaves in pain

You are imprisoned within those eyes that sparkle with laughter.

 

The morning that I had seen in your eyes is still with me.

I had taken that morning in my palm

Only to bury it into the backyard garden.

Now it has branched into a delightful tree

Under which I live.

 

Those who have gone away

Those who have forgotten

They didn’t realize that

It is not possible to go away

They remain imprisoned, caught, and trapped forever!