Sunday, February 24, 2013

Sometimes ...


Sometimes,

just like that

I open the suitcase

and unpack that gloomy loneliness

and my moods.

They sleep with me all night

I hold my companionship tight.

Do not call me a lunatic,

say it differently,

call me a poet.

Do not call it a sin

for I loved the wrong man;

say it differently,

call it the unknown error of my life.

Beloved


If I call you my beloved …

… Will you promise to open the window wide

and let me hear your melancholy notes?

Will you make a collage

of the restless stretch

between that coffee cup

and the steering wheel

 and the

desert flower?

 

If I call you my beloved …

… Will you let me live

even when I am dead and gone?

Ageless ageing ...


 

A few days ago it has been my birthday and among the warm wishes, I have realised that it’s really okay to age  :-D.


Until recently, it was exceedingly annoying to me to even hear the word ‘ageing gracefully’! The primary instinct has been to grind my teeth and yell, “Who the hell wants to age in the first place? I definitely want to stand up and be counted, look good, feel fit, be admired and wanted – especially after I have hit and crossed that significant number 40!”

But now when I look back on my years, I feel so very grateful to have lived the life I’ve lived. Whatever I have done, I have been sincere and genuine. When I loved I went overboard; when I didn’t, that too has been with equal depth of aloofness and dispassion. It definitely has never been a perfect life; there have been painful freeze structures, scenes and episodes that I would prefer to clip out yet they are the one who made me.  And so, now, I love the mirror and all its appendages like the wrinkles, the sag, the flab and the scowl.

One more great thing that has happened to me is my blog. A few years ago I started blogging with vengence! I pampered my blog like my baby. I wrote fast and furious. I wrote about everything - my reality, my imagination, my life - things that happened, things that might have happened, things that I longed to happen ... and as I write this it's bringing a smile to me ... I survived because I wrote, because I had my blog. My blog has done more to me. It has given me friends who never expected anything in return. Isn't that something wonderful that can happen to one?

And as for ageing gracefully, now I have realized, healthy aging requires an internal shift. Because you know in your heart of hearts, that your true value lies within. Age has given us wisdom, experiences and freedom from the superficial and I am sure we wouldn’t like to trade that in for anything. Age is more about giving and less about receiving so it has made us better people. Now I know I can tell age – “bring it on! I plan to live you even more fully, vigorously, arrogantly until the day I take my last breath.