Wednesday, May 2, 2012

untitled...












Through time, pouring away like water
we have been living together;
my soul and I.
We are so familiar
 that we almost
 repeat each other now.
She is I and I am her
or both are us
or something like that.
To be far away
I went to the shore
but she was already there
struggling to hold that whiteness in her fist.
When I had thought of going to the mountains
she started whispering
the noise of serenity into my ears.
Then, I had wanted to escape
 into the wilderness of the forest
but I was afraid
 that she would weave
the moss green grass and twigs through my ribs.

For long I am searching for a home away from myself.

They’d been living together a long time
And where beginning to repeat each other:
He was her
And she was him,
She was her
And he was her as well,
She was, she wasn’t,
And he was them,
Or something like that.

Especially in the morning,
Until they’d sorted out
Who was who,
From where to where,
Why this was and not that,
A lot of time elapsed,
Time poured awaay like water.

Occasionally they wanted to kiss each other
But realised, at some point,
That they were both her —
Easier just to repeat.

Then they’d start yawning with fear,
A yawn like soft wool,
Which could even be crocheted
This way:
One was yawning very carefully
The other was holding the ball.
I want to build myself a house
As far away as possible
From all the things
I know.

As far away as possible from the mountains
Out of which squirrels leap in the morning
Like apostles in a clock
Naive beyond belief.

And I don’t want it on the shore
Of that white tiredness
Where I could see through every window
An enamelled scale.

And I know all the tricks
Of the plain.
What else can you expect from her
If at night she frees the grass and wheat
To grow through your ribs and temples?

In any place at all
I’d get so fearfully bored
I couldn’t even
Hang
On my wall
Pictures
The doorway would look too familiar
I’d be feeling I had to move on.

If only I could build myself a house
As far away as possible from
Myself.
I want to build myself a house
As far away as possible
From all the things
I know.

As far away as possible from the mountains
Out of which squirrels leap in the morning
Like apostles in a clock
Naive beyond belief.

And I don’t want it on the shore
Of that white tiredness
Where I could see through every window
An enamelled scale.

And I know all the tricks
Of the plain.
What else can you expect from her
If at night she frees the grass and wheat
To grow through your ribs and temples?

In any place at all
I’d get so fearfully bored
I couldn’t even
Hang
On my wall
Pictures
The doorway would look too familiar
I’d be feeling I had to move on.

If only I could build myself a house
As far away as possible from
Myself.
I want to build myself a house
As far away as possible
From all the things
I know.

As far away as possible from the mountains
Out of which squirrels leap in the morning
Like apostles in a clock
Naive beyond belief.

And I don’t want it on the shore
Of that white tiredness
Where I could see through every window
An enamelled scale.

And I know all the tricks
Of the plain.
What else can you expect from her
If at night she frees the grass and wheat
To grow through your ribs and temples?

In any place at all
I’d get so fearfully bored
I couldn’t even
Hang
On my wall
Pictures
The doorway would look too familiar
I’d be feeling I had to move on.

If only I could build myself a house
As far away as possible from
Myself.

13 comments:

Brian Miller said...

whew...this one carries some hidden emotion in it...to get away from ourselves and every where we go find our soul already there...i get you, its a bit uncomfortable in its reality, but i get...smiles.

Ygraine said...

So wonderful...your Soul externalised, a seperate identity that you can escape from.
I have often wanted to escape from myself too. Maybe it is possible after all...

R.Ramakrishnan said...

Nice & flowing.

ayala said...

Don't search for a home away from yourself instead search for peace within. You will, I know you will. Beautiful write, dear friend.

Jack said...

C D,

Nice to see you back after short break. How can one go away from own soul? It is rather happiness to search within and live in harmony.

Take care

Dark Knight said...

Looks like you've been doing a lot of soul-searching for that home away from home. But remember, often we find that what we're looking for is right under our nose.

The Unknowngnome said...

Turning your back on I, you'll find you have eyes in the back of your head.

Such is the start of discovery.

Nice Moon, much pouring to drink in.

ashok said...

loved the flow...wonderful writing

Animesh said...

Really interesting friend.

Debopam said...

Wonderful creation!!!!!

Rose said...

Moon, this is beautiful I love the line ..'I was afraid that she would weave the moss green grass and twigs through my ribs'... That stays with me. And 'the noise of serenity'is powerful. I know the feeling of searching for a home away from myself when each occurance bears a sense of de javu more jaded than the shore of that white tiredness itself :D Brilliant my dear lady, brilliant!

kolembo said...

...afraid
that she would weave
the moss green grass and twigs through my ribs....

I'm doing a lot of soul work with the Brahma Kumaris this year.

This is a beautiful, magical piece.

sajeevkmenon said...

Enjoyed reading this poem - Inspiring!