Thursday, May 9, 2013

for my unborn children ...


I have looked for you
into the pregnant river water
on the right side of my bed
in the crevices of my long stretched days
in basil leaf and jasmine flower.
I have looked for you
among the happy giggles of children playing.
I have looked for you in his warmth
 in his heartbeats.
In the day, night, dawn and dusk
and in the coiled vine of desire
I have looked for you.

When insomnia becomes an infection to the eyes
I  colour your apples
Name your dolls
Sing you lullabies.
When the night becomes a blue-black bruise
I look for you.
When the orange Sun looks like
an excess bleeding in the sky
I look for you.
When he holds my face in his palm
I look for you.
I lie
I nurture secrets
I long for the sticky knowingness of his skin
I die to see myself in his eyes;
All for you
Only for you.
Waiting for you to be.
Wishing for us to be.

12 comments:

VaNdAnA ShArMa said...

So cute and filled with deep emotions....lucky children i guess!!!

Mary said...

I understand this yearning, this waiting, this wondering what they will be like. A very strong and honest poem. Blessings to you.

Celestial Dreamz said...

Disclaimer : It's just my fancy, my imagination, my longing :-) ... not the reality.

Victoria said...

Very powerful poem...could be the longings of one who can't conceive, or one who has lost pregnancies. I found it to be quite poignant.

Brian Miller said...

you made me cry...smiles...i have friends that have tried forever to have kids...one was rewarded not too long ago...but deep feeling in this one...particularly...

I colour your apples
Name your dolls
Sing you lullabies.
When the night becomes a blue-black bruise
I look for you

Lisa Williams said...

Wonderful, so sincere and one can feel the yearning in your words.

Ygraine said...

Oh how deeply moving...this has touched my heart so profoundly.
I have been here too...

deeps said...

There are some secrets, some mysteries that only a mother can hold just like fathers hold the fortress

Rose said...

Wonderful to read Moon, a delightful piece full of your magical imagery, very emotive never tire of reading this one. Well done dear lady :)

bonniejtoomey.com said...

I love the color you work into the poem - very hauntingly sad and yet strangely beautiful - i also love how it moves in and out of reality.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

You have so perfectly captured the longing of a woman for a child. Very beautiful, my friend. So poignant.

McGuffy Ann said...

This is truly beautiful. I understand, having lost children and then unable to have children.