They loved each otherand they loved so well!
Yesterday, the raindrops fluttered shyly
and kissed the waiting ground.
The deep magenta dome of the sky
was carrying the hidden Sun in its bosom;
the moss green leaf quivered like a bride
as the errant breeze caressed its cheeks.
The morning, as pretty as the melody
Yesterday, the raindrops fluttered shyly
and kissed the waiting ground.
The deep magenta dome of the sky
was carrying the hidden Sun in its bosom;
the moss green leaf quivered like a bride
as the errant breeze caressed its cheeks.
The morning, as pretty as the melody
of an unsung poem, craved to be one
with the mysterious songs of nature,
being soaked in its velvet soft layers.
with the mysterious songs of nature,
being soaked in its velvet soft layers.
I frantically longed to be a part of them too,
for all I wanted was, to be called as beloved
on this Earth.
But alas!
By then,
I had already swallowed your sorrow
and consumed your loneliness.
They had trickled down within me,
slow yet smooth, droplet by droplet,
making a malignant lump in my heart!
And now the wound oozes out puss
and consumed your loneliness.
They had trickled down within me,
slow yet smooth, droplet by droplet,
making a malignant lump in my heart!
And now the wound oozes out puss
scorching and scalding
every other pore.
every other pore.
accepting the award from Jingle; my gratitude.
I nominate - http://www.tingtasy.com/
an encouragement;
heart feels gratitude plenty;
Muse, don't let me down.
21 comments:
A well written poetic expression madame. i understanda all poetry is subjective . My own view after reading the first line "they loved....." would be ----the sorrow and the lonliness can very easily be overpowered by intimacy which has a spititual content in it as well.Not just individually, but in this world torn by strife and turmoil today...we need love as a transforming power. I believe if mankind is our essence, each individual is responsible to bring about that transformation in themselves by that one emotion we all relate with, but sadly in a very restricting and limited way!! Comming back to the poetry, your choice of words and subsequent sentence formations are magical..they weave a vivid picture of the subject being communicated. Its alwaysa delight to read your work. Keep it up.
thank you so much Bhaskar .. I'm really gr8ful.
Brr! The imagery throughout the starting and middle of the poem was suggestive of a happy ending I felt, but the ending then was strong, sad, and very much related to the first thoughts the title might invoke. Poignant, and well expressed, a pleasure to read..
Rally Week 41 - My Poetry
This is a poem I can relate to as family member of mine have had cancer and won the battle. This was an amazing poem for me to read. Thank you
THE LAST STANZA- perfect climax for the poem built up so far!!
Wow! The imagery in this poem was vivid and matched the tone so well. A second read revealed to me even more than the first.
Such beautiful visual words. I was coasting along feeling good and then bam! your ending threw me. What wonderful words and images you have created.
Wow. This was powerful and sad. I love the vividness.
http://absolutepalaver.wordpress.com/2011/04/01/thus/
its poignant :)
"But alas!
By then, I had already swallowed your sorrow
and consumed your loneliness.
They had trickled down within me,
slow yet smooth, droplet by droplet,
making a malignant lump in my heart!"
and so you ended it in a beautiful stanza..but the one above needed yo be quoted again..
beautiful imagery...that along with the contrast highlighted..like wow..
Such powerful, moving imagery. A pleasure to read.
A sad poem one that starts with the loved and works itself into brokenheartedness, truly a write worth reading several times !
Happy Rally
JL&B
Moving poem. Great use of personification in
'Yesterday, the raindrops fluttered shyly
and kissed the waiting ground.'
very moving.. my thursday~ http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/12/30/let-it-be-it/
Sensitive topic for me too, it reminded me of a poignant fight with cancer which a dear friend lost. But lovely words here--they create images of sadness mingled with beauty too. Would love your comments on one of my poems on the same topic.
http://harivarasanam.wordpress.com/2010/12/08/the-trainee/
very deep beautifully written
A good poem that sets out to do what you say it will in the title.
thank you all.
good stuff. Really cool blog too. I like it.
what beautiful thoughts penned here!
loved it for the vivid but deep presentation of your thoughts...you are talented! keep writing!
a very well written poem...tracing the journey to an end!!!! Sad poem but it touches your heart.
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