Tuesday, February 22, 2011

monologue of a misfit ...


I have been a misfit
I could never fit in.

The older generation has been a bit too rigid,
the younger suffers from a ‘junk’ disorder,
and I hang in between like the Trishanku.
When small, all the girls in the neighborhood
found me odd, for
I had preferred to sit alone at a corner of the terrace
counting and observing the ants in a row.
They wanted to become doctor, engineer, pilot and what not,
but I always fancied to be the sun ray that used to come inside
the class room in askance.
Rubbished love while a beautiful teenager,
ridiculed nuptial bond after 18 years,
joined political club but was thrown out for being too analytical
attended the lady’s club but was hated
for never being able to notice a gold ornament or a costly dress
or for being un womanly enough to insist on siesta!
Tried to be religious but faith and belief is so prodigious!
Strove to become like everyone else
yet preferred to talk to a tree for hours together;
carried a broad happy grin when wanted to cry out loudly
sobbed when the happiest!
I have been an outcast, always
a block that never could fit in.

and like this, Time piles up
like this, time lies crushed
and
the dark holes around me grow in numbers;
vacuums and emptiness!
And now,
the meaning of life
stumble and fall into those holes
and is irretrievably lost.

posted for MAGPIE TALE 54

13 comments:

Helen said...

More than a glimpse into your precious thoughts and memories.

Kristen Haskell said...

I spent a lot of my youth feeling like a bit of a misfit. Somber but nicely written Magpie.

Tumblewords: said...

Haunting piece - it resonsates very strongly with me. Nice work, to be sure.

The Unknowngnome said...

"I always fancied to be the sun ray that used to come inside the class room in askance" and I always wanted to float through the universe of dust within it.

I guess we made it, Trishanku heaven. :-)

120 Socks said...

A great take on the prompt. My daughter used to love being on her own watching things that other people misssed, I applaude her take on life and it is good to be different!!

Celestial Dreamz said...

thank you Helen :)

Thanks for being able to relate Kristen :)

Tumblewords, I am touched at your words

TUG :) - yeah guess we made it :-D

120 socks - thanks. my wishes for your daughter. :)

Tess Kincaid said...

Thanks for this peep inside you.

Celestial Dreamz said...

:) you are welcome Tess Kincaid

Mary said...

I think the world is full of misfits. Seems like blogging is helping us find each other. Poignant sentiments.

Kavita said...

My gosh, this was lovely!! So honest and intense...and so so heartfelt..
I think I could relate to this poem in more places that one... (sigh)

Really, I fell in love with your Magpie, Dr. B... what a perfect and poignant take on the prompt!!
Bravo!!

And cheers to "being different"... yes, i love it! As do I love talking to trees (and stars)...

Celestial Dreamz said...

Mary, Kavita - thanks a lot dear. Cheers to us! :)

Promising Poets Parking Lot said...

welcome join poets rally week 39,
thanks for the time.
Happy Writing.
Hope to see you in.
xoxox

Promising Poets Parking Lot said...

how are you?

you can fit in if you wish to.