Memoirs of a conventional woman .....

MEMOIRS OF A CONVENTIONAL WOMAN WITH DREAMS A TAD UNCONVENTIONAL, ... TRYING TO LIVE THROUGH AND SURVIVE ACROSS DIFFERENT GAMUTS OF A RELATIONSHIP  .....

I created a world of my own

a home for my soul

I felt like living life

I felt free!

and I held it all in my fist

those white jasmine flowers,

with reverence and awe

as I would hold my newborn

to my chest.

Like a bird that loves to fly

in a vast light blue sky

like the sun that shines

on a golden hued beach

like a moonlight that

nurtures a lover’s mind

I felt like living life

I felt free!

I began to float

joy and choice around me

like a multi colored rainbow bubble

shielding me from the fret and fever

I felt like living life

I felt free!

Then why is it that

the very next moment

all those start slipping through the gaps

in between my fingers

as brittle and slippery as sand,

and then when I tend to search

life appears to lie beside my feet

scattered and unattended

similar to some dead man’s ashes

colorless and opaque.

And the pillar of my imaginary home,

a dream that I nurtured and cherished

like the unborn baby in my womb,

stands forlorn and fickle

and altogether strange

in the context of the known!

Then I realize that it is a cycle

traveling through the passage of moments

from time immemorial.

Soon again would happiness beacon

from air to here, through the universe
promising more, needing more
like an empty page in front of a poet
thoughts conflicting and disappearing
yet again forming and
shaping through words
so I know
soon it would begin to connect
with new found clarity and meaning.

hope persists
I feel like living life
I feel free!
thereafter … forever …