gray ...

It is the gray portions
that choke me,
suffocating me often.
Relationships are never
just black and white.
They are multilayer ed
having many shades
and several facets.
Time and again,
it would reveal new contours
and alien countenances
making me wonder.
Now I know
why I can't breathe at times.
It is these in between phases
that strangulate me,
smothering my life breath.
It has been a long time
since I lost my way
in these shades of gray
where the meaning
of love and faith
quietly grope to find a place,
a meaning, to survive.