Sunday, April 4, 2010

LOSS ...


There are so many ways to die in this life!
Still vivid in mind -
an unpleasant clammy wetness;
panic drying my mouth,
I desperately clamp my legs
as if by doing so I could prevent the loss!

A jasmine tree bloomed out of my naval,
reaching my veins and appendages,
loving my mind and caressing my soul,
its leaf and flower drinking the love in me.

In mind's eye I see a tiny figure, ivory,
and when he looks up to my face
I know those eyes, mouth, smile, all mine;
a life to live,
among all the other deaths.

In that morbid room
I tried to hold onto him urgently,
 begged him not to leave and
 his eyes begging me too.
He was trying to hug desperately
 to that slippery silk wall
that was already hissing like an annoyed serpent,
convulsing and rejecting.

The mother water that swayed him
now rushed him down the alley;
and he looked back
his eyes hurt with betrayal!
I heard that spine raking scream;
like a shrill metallic scrape, his or mine?

The amniotic fluid in his mouth must have tasted death
and my mouth felt the same; the taste of my failure.
There are so many ways to die in this world
I die all over again; death,
most grotesque this time.
Now it is funny when they call me beautiful,
for, when I look into the mirror,
failure as ugly as sin that stares back!

6 comments:

Michele Brenton aka banana_the_poet said...

This is very sad. I hope the writing of this poem helped you and thank you for being brave enough to share it with us. XX

Ramesh Sood said...

I have always felt that someone up there makes mistakes of sending already evolved souls back to planet.. God finds the error and call them back for they are not supposed to live on earth all over again.. I believe that only such pious souls go back even before opening their eyes..

I propose one post on my page which is " Souls Journey Back Home".. my first post in Novemebr 2009.. you may like to visit my page.. your poem shows the pain.. but yet.. it can't be a failure..
For these events need not be defined for its God's prerogative.. Sorry, I just flowed.. Your poem pshed me to write this..

Kodjo Deynoo. said...

The end was quite intense and very sad

Pete Marshall said...

i echo michele...this is very sad...reading your comment and your believe is also very touching and thought provoking...thanks for sharing pete

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This is very sad, and speaks of your heartbreak and loss. Thank you for your courage in sharing this pain. "There are so many ways to die in this world" - please believe, this was heartbreaking, but not a failure. Also please believe in your own beauty. Namaste.

Celestial Dreamz said...

^ Thanks to all ... yes life moves on and we get wiser .... i have shared it as this was the beginning of my writing ...and my writings indeed have a healing touch on my soul. Nevertheless thanks to all for being so kind.